Utterly useless.

I wanted to write a blog post to make you feel better so that next time you text I can be all “Lookit my blog, it’ll fix everything” but I really can’t think of anything to say aside from “He’s a stupidface” and “You’re leaving tomorrow waaaaaaaah.”

Neither of which are new to you or in any way productive.

BUT.

I’m going to publish this fugger anyway. REVEL IN ITS LACK OF SUBSTANCE. Gyah bell rang and pocket vibrated; time to go.

I love you, cupcake.

Planning for the Future

I spent the afternoon avoiding my mountainous homework and instead looked at Terminus programming and argued with you about college. And this whole “after Terminus I don’t know when I’ll ever see you again” thing is bothering me.

It’s bothering me a lot.

It bothered me enough, in fact, that I looked up my school schedule for Brandeis to see when I’ll have free for the next, oh… year and a half or so.

As you can see, I’m rather determined.

In October (11-14), we have a long weekend off for Columbus Day; this is a good opportunity for a Boston college tour with parentals. And I know you’re all “East is for liberals, I’m going to Ohio U” but seriously, a visit couldn’t hurt.

My winter break is massive, from December 19 to January 12. Granted, you’ll be in Seattle(?) for New Years, but come on. That is a significant window.

We have a random break in February (Midterm Recess? What is this magic?) from the 16th to the 20th (or 14th to the 22nd, depending on if weekends count) and I don’t know whether I’d be in Princeton or Boston for that, but… yeah. Opportunity.

Spring Break is April 9th to 16th (which are Thursdays, which I think is weird), and then I’m out of school May 9th.

LeakyCon (yeah, yeah, you’re a Mugglenet person, I know) is in Boston May 21-24; Level 2, the HPEF con, is in San Jose July 23-26, and I don’t think a Narrate conference has been announced (yet). As the Portus/Terminus thing showed, it’s hard to tell until, like, the winter before whether one or the other will be more popular.

But mostly the moral of the story is, uh, get your ass over here.

EDIT:

[2:49:07 PM] Leah says: okay, so my mom always told me to stay well away from Roger Williams University in RI because it’s crazy conservative
[2:49:14 PM] Leah says: IT HAS A CREATIVE WRITING MAJOR.
[2:49:14 PM] Marlena says: OOOH
[2:49:17 PM] Marlena says: HAYLEY
[2:49:47 PM] Marlena says: I’m not allowed to major in Creative Writing.
[2:49:50 PM] Leah says: but
[2:49:51 PM] Leah says: uh
[2:49:59 PM] Leah says: I do mean CRAZY conservative
[2:50:01 PM] Leah says: “In 2004, Roger Williams became a focus of attention when the Roger Williams University College Republicans offered a “Whites Only” scholarship. Applicants were invited to submit photos and a paper describing what being white means to them. The organization, which had hosted several conservative speakers on campus, including David Horowitz and Ann Coulter, became the focus of international media attention. Death threats against the College Republican leadership were received, necessitating extra security. The winner of the scholarship donated the $500 scholarship to charity.[3]

The scholarship created controversy because many saw this act as racist. The College Republicans argued, however, that it was meant to parody and protest affirmative action. The application even said: “Evidence of bleaching will disqualify applicants.” [4]

In a subsequent protest against the Vagina Monologues, members donned a six foot penis costume and advertised for their own “Penis Monologues” outside the student union. Again, this brought the RWU College Republicans to the attention of conservative media outlets.[5]

Due to their actions, the College Republicans were condemned by Rhode Island’s Republican Party, and are no longer allowed to use a capital “R” in their name. They also cannot use the national symbol of the Republican Party, the elephant. Additionally, the organization had their university recognition revoked until the end of the 2005–2006 academic year due to violations of institutional policy.”
[2:50:17 PM] Adam says: sorry that didn’t help. just confusing
[2:50:29 PM] Lucy Walsh says: oh well
[2:50:30 PM] Marlena says: oh
[2:50:32 PM] Marlena says: EW
[2:50:38 PM] Leah says: yeah.
[2:50:43 PM] Leah says: but… progress…. kinda.
[2:50:52 PM] Marlena says: ..yeah
[2:50:59 PM] Leah says: but the point is
[2:51:08 PM] Leah says: if there are republican schools in rhode island
[2:51:12 PM] Lucy Walsh says: shit. I have to be in tennis in 10 minutes
[2:51:17 PM] Leah says: there are some in Massachusettes
[2:51:18 PM] Lucy Walsh says: later!
[2:51:23 PM] Adam says: bye!
[2:51:24 PM] Leah says: we just need to find them.
[2:51:28 PM] Marlena says: yes! Hope springs eternal
[2:52:51 PM] Sarah Keeeeeeeler says: Leah:
[2:52:54 PM] Sarah Keeeeeeeler says: Grove City College (Grove City, Pennsylvania)
In general, most undergrads at Grove City College are “white, suburban, Christian Republicans.” These kids are the ones “who would ask, ‘What are hallucinogens?’” one student explains. A prominent group comprises “the normal, Nalgene bottle-carrying, Christian summer camp-working, service-oriented students.”
[2:53:02 PM] Marlena says: hahaha
[2:53:04 PM] Sarah Keeeeeeeler says: Pennsylvania
[2:53:06 PM] Sarah Keeeeeeeler says: is east
[2:53:10 PM] Leah says: but still far.
[2:53:26 PM] Marlena says: Not as far as Ohio
[2:53:33 PM] Leah says: how close is it to etown?
[2:53:37 PM] Leah says: we’ll lure her with Lauren.
[2:53:47 PM] Sarah Keeeeeeeler says: not too far
[2:53:59 PM] Sarah Keeeeeeeler says: probably a bus or train ride away

EDIT TO THE EDIT:

[2:57:16 PM] Sarah Keeeeeeeler says: Marymount is pretty conservative
[2:57:21 PM] Sarah Keeeeeeeler says: she could just come here
[2:57:23 PM] Leah says: but you aren’t staying
[2:57:28 PM] Sarah Keeeeeeeler says: yeah, I am
[2:57:34 PM] Leah says: tour.
[2:57:36 PM] Sarah Keeeeeeeler says: if they give me more scholarship money
[2:57:43 PM] Leah says: lol
[2:57:43 PM] Sarah Keeeeeeeler says: probably not getting the tour
[2:57:48 PM] Leah says: D=
[2:57:56 PM] Sarah Keeeeeeeler says: anyway the tour would be just be this year
…
[3:00:19 PM] Sarah Keeeeeeeler says: there’s also the New School which has both conservative and liberal students… and a really good writing program
[3:00:31 PM] Sarah Keeeeeeeler says: but it’s not a typical “university” style education
[3:00:44 PM] Sarah Keeeeeeeler says: haha I like how we’re searching for colleges for Hayley
[3:00:57 PM] Leah says: hrpm.
[3:00:58 PM] Marlena says: I love that John is John “Dawlish” Noe in the description for the PC panel
[3:01:00 PM] Leah says: *hrmph.
[3:01:19 PM] Leah says: I like how I corrected spelling on a grunt

BLAGGITY BLAG. (“blah blah I miss you”)

I’s back, talking to you even though you’re technically still around!

So… I saw you this weekend.

On the one hand (the massive, awesome, God-like hand) it was pretty much one of the best weekends of my life and it was amazing and we got to sing along to musicals and make up stupid inside jokes and and and get your face out of my fruit bowl.

But on the other hand… granted, this is the shriveled, miniscule, infected hand, but… in a way I almost regret it.

Until now, we’ve always had, you know, the internet and phones. We already know what comes with that as far as touching and hugging and elsing, but aside from that, one accepts certain limits. I accepted that you don’t always reply to texts, that you have a life and no laptop and you can’t be online all the time, whatever.

After spending like 40 straight hours with you, accepting the fact that I can’t communicate with you constantly fucking sucks. That’s what sucks worst. I can live without your face and your car and your hugs and your hamburgers.

But it’s your brain I miss most of all, Scarecrow.

People are being crazy in scones

and I miss you and I tried to say this to them and no one was listening.

So.

As you know, I read The Catcher in the Rye last weekend, at your behest. As you also know, I loved it.

The cover bothers me.

I know we’re not supposed to judge a book by its cover blah blah whatever. But, like… wtf random horsey? Unless there’s some magical symbolism thing I don’t know about. In which case, enlighten me.

But I keep thinking about this one fanartist I used to follow, Kristin Bergh. She went to Ringling for art school, and one of her assignments was to redesign the cover of a book. She chose The Giver (which I’m assuming you’ve read because you’ve read everything).

SO ANYWAY.

As you (should) know, the original cover of The Giver looks like this:

But Kristin didn’t like the old man face. Neither to I, really. And here’s what she came up with (follow the link to the original picture, wordpress is cutting off part of the right side):

 

I love that. I absolutely love that.

I wish I had the talent to do the same for Catcher.

*melts*

[2:54:05 PM] Sarah LovesJo says: unfortunately, like all of the people I’ve dated have been actors or musicians
[2:54:14 PM] Sarah LovesJo says: who are all assholes
[2:54:15 PM] Adam Colas says: funzies
[2:54:21 PM] Graham Badger says: sounds like fun
[2:54:27 PM] Eliot says: Yeah all the people I’ve dated…oh wait…there’s only been 1…
[2:54:46 PM] Graham Badger says: All the people I have dated.. oh wait.. that would be none….
[2:54:50 PM] Eliot says: HAHAHA
[2:54:55 PM] Adam Colas says: all the people i’ve dated have been named kayley hyde
[2:54:55 PM] Leah Bartels says: hey now!
[2:54:55 PM] Eliot says: Love my Debbie Downer side!
[2:54:56 PM] Adam Colas says: coincedence?
[2:55:01 PM] Leah Bartels says: *pokes Graham*
[2:55:04 PM] Sarah LovesJo says: lol
[2:55:12 PM] Leah Bartels says: jeez. I get distracted by my book for like TWO MINUTES…
[2:55:16 PM] Sarah LovesJo says: hahaha
[2:55:17 PM] Graham Badger says: haha
[2:55:18 PM] Eliot says: hahaha
[2:55:27 PM] Sarah LovesJo says: you have to stay on the ball, Leah
[2:55:32 PM] Leah Bartels says: clearly
[2:55:42 PM] Graham Badger says: Leah, I can’t officialy call us dating until I have held you in my arms for the first time.
[2:55:49 PM] Leah Bartels says: *grumble*
[2:55:50 PM] Sarah LovesJo says: awwww
[2:55:51 PM] Adam Colas says: hahaha
[2:55:54 PM] Graham Badger says: hehe
[2:56:02 PM] Leah Bartels says: well then Adam’s screwed, too
[2:56:10 PM] Adam Colas says: i don’t have the same rules as grah
[2:56:14 PM] Sarah LovesJo says: lol
[2:56:14 PM] Eliot says: lol
[2:56:22 PM] Adam Colas says: i consider the conversation where kayley and i decided we were dating as enough
[2:56:30 PM] Leah Bartels says: awww.
[2:56:34 PM] Graham Badger says: And I mean, I’m not dating you on facebook, you’re married to Hayley instead, so it can’t be official over the internet either
[2:56:36 PM] Sarah LovesJo says: I have no rules because I haven’t needed them
[2:56:42 PM] Sarah LovesJo says: oh snap
[2:56:47 PM] Eliot says: me either
[2:56:48 PM] Adam Colas says: i know!!! stupid kayleyandskye…..
[2:56:49 PM] Leah Bartels says: we tried to have that conversation but we got distracted by religious philosophy
[2:56:50 PM] Graham Badger says:
[2:56:54 PM] Graham Badger says: haha yeah
[2:56:57 PM] Sarah LovesJo says: hahaha
[2:56:58 PM] Graham Badger says: we did didn’t we?
[2:57:01 PM] Leah Bartels says: yep
[2:57:06 PM] Leah Bartels says: we’re awesome.
[2:57:06 PM] Eliot says: involving vegetables?
[2:57:12 PM] Leah Bartels says: sadly, no
[2:57:13 PM] Eliot says: oh boo
[2:57:15 PM] Graham Badger says: nope
[2:57:16 PM] Graham Badger says: maybe next time
[2:57:20 PM] Eliot says: fo sho
[2:57:31 PM] Sarah LovesJo says: pssh religious discussion isn’t complete without a waltzing potatoe
[2:57:34 PM] Eliot says: sorry, I’m not ghetto I swear
[2:57:38 PM] Eliot says: no kidding!
[2:57:39 PM] Graham Badger says: ok then Leah, how about this
[2:57:44 PM] Leah Bartels says: eliot, trust us
[2:57:45 PM] Graham Badger says: *Bend down on one knee*
[2:57:52 PM] Graham Badger says: Leah Bartels, would you go out with me?
[2:57:58 PM] Leah Bartels says: YESPLZ.
[2:58:01 PM] Leah Bartels says: I CAN HAZ?
[2:58:03 PM] Graham Badger says: WOO HOO!
[2:58:06 PM] Adam Colas says: (party)
[2:58:07 PM] Graham Badger says: YES U CAN HAZ!!!
[2:58:09 PM] Eliot says: awww!!!
[2:58:11 PM] Sarah LovesJo says: /me’s heart just melted from cuteness and happiness
[2:58:15 PM] Sarah LovesJo says: YAY
[2:58:17 PM] Eliot says: YAYAYAYAYAY!!!!
[2:58:19 PM] Sarah LovesJo even

[2:58:22 PM] Leah Bartels says: space-apostrophe, sarah
[2:58:23 PM] Graham Badger says: (hug)(h)
[2:58:26 PM] Sarah LovesJo says: thanks, Leah
[2:58:31 PM] Adam Colas says: you killed the moment sarah
[2:58:31 PM] Leah Bartels says: I try
[2:58:34 PM] Graham Badger says: haha
[2:58:42 PM] Sarah LovesJo says: I brought non-alchoholic champagne
[2:58:46 PM] Sarah LovesJo says: does that redeem me?
[2:58:48 PM] Adam Colas says: moment’s back
[2:58:51 PM] Sarah LovesJo says: (d)
[2:59:05 PM] Adam Colas says: (sun)  (rain)  (F)   i made flowers
[2:59:06 PM] Leah Bartels has kind of been calling Graham her boyfriend for like two weeks behind his back. oops?

[2:59:10 PM] Eliot says: hahaha
[2:59:15 PM] Eliot says: HAHAHAHA
[2:59:15 PM] Sarah LovesJo says: lawlz
[2:59:16 PM] Graham Badger says: haha, Ic an live with that
[2:59:29 PM] Sarah LovesJo says: I love love
[2:59:31 PM] Sarah LovesJo says: a lot
[2:59:44 PM] Graham Badger says: I will never complain about being the boyfriend of a hot, sexy, smart, funny, gorgeous, awesome, made of win, incredible, fantastic person
[2:59:44 PM] Jerry says: you two are adorable
[2:59:46 PM] Leah Bartels says: scones who love scones who love scones
[2:59:54 PM] Sarah LovesJo says: exactly
[2:59:54 PM] Adam Colas says: hahaha
[2:59:58 PM] Sarah LovesJo says: I’m a sconemance groupie
[3:00:01 PM] Eliot says: AWWWWW
[3:00:04 PM] Leah Bartels says: band-aid.
[3:00:08 PM] Sarah LovesJo says: except I don’t sleep with any of you

I have too many thoughts.

So I just made a book recommendation to Graham– Assassination Vacation by Sarah Vowell. I told him it was in my Top Five Favorite nonfiction books (which it is) but it got me thinking…

I’ve always preferred fiction to nonfiction. I like stories, I’m an author, it comes with the territory. But in a way, I feel like we’re TAUGHT to be like that.

I keep thinking back to, like, second grade, when you’re taught how the library works. There’s Fiction, which has all the awesome books with colorful pictures and the nice librarian lady reads to you; and there’s Nonfiction, which has, y’know, the biography of Rosa Parks (which is, I’m convinced, the first nonfiction book to which any elementary schooler is introduced.) Even the name is lame. It’s “non-fiction.” It tells you what it ISN’T instead of what it IS. It’s… discouraging.

Um… yeah. /rant.

Okay, okay, last one frealz this time!

[11:50:45 PM] Jerry says: you like muffins?
[11:50:52 PM] Leah Bartels says: is your muffin buttered?
[11:50:55 PM] Jerry says: far better metaphor
[11:50:56 PM] Jerry says: lol
[11:50:56 PM] kelsi says: i
[11:51:00 PM] kelsi says: I’D LIKE TO BUTTER YOUR MUFFIN
[11:51:02 PM] Jerry says: plus it’s got the word muff in
[11:51:05 PM] Jerry says: hahaha
[11:51:10 PM] kelsi says: oh god
[11:51:11 PM] Graham Badger says: rofl jerry
[11:51:13 PM] Sarah LovesJo says: haha best quote ever: “This is new york, nothing is shocking. We’ve embraced public urination.”
[11:51:15 PM] kelsi says: ROFL
[11:51:22 PM] Leah Bartels says: I love you guysssss.
[11:51:29 PM] Sarah LovesJo says: would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?
[11:51:41 PM] Jerry says: “Soyleft green MUFFIN: it’s got muff in”
[11:51:45 PM] Leah Bartels says: my dad was flipping through the paper this morning
[11:51:45 PM] Sarah LovesJo says: DO YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM?
[11:51:52 PM] Sarah LovesJo says: N-n-no thank you
[11:51:55 PM] Leah Bartels says: and he was like, “Baby Mama. Wanna see that?”
[11:52:00 PM] Leah Bartels says: my mom was like, “meh.”
[11:52:05 PM] Leah Bartels says: and I was like, “MOM. TINA FEY.”
[11:52:05 PM] Graham Badger says: ahaha
[11:52:06 PM] kelsi says: LOL
[11:52:13 PM] Sarah LovesJo says: yayy
[11:52:33 PM] Leah Bartels wants to see Baby Mama with Hayley, damn it.

[11:52:52 PM] Leah Bartels says: …
[11:53:01 PM] kelsi says: ahhahahah
[11:53:16 PM] Leah Bartels says: it only JUST occured to me that it will probably still be in theaters in 3 weeks, and that in all likelyhood, I COULD.
[11:53:18 PM] Leah Bartels says: gsus
[11:53:21 PM] Leah Bartels says: GSUS
[11:53:24 PM] Sarah LovesJo says: AHHH
[11:53:27 PM] Graham Badger says: yes you could lol
[11:53:32 PM] Leah Bartels says: *likelihood.
[11:53:36 PM] Jerry says: I’m going to go to bed now guys.. niiiight
[11:53:37 PM] Leah Bartels says: … that doesn’t look right either

 

EDIT: (because I am NOT posting again tonight)

[12:04:26 AM] Leah Bartels says: my pet peeve: having a good hair day when I’m not going anywhere or doing anything and the rest of me looks like crap
[12:04:27 AM] Sarah LovesJo says: unless I get a dance job and leave school for a while
[12:04:33 AM] Sarah LovesJo says: YES LEAH
[12:04:37 AM] kelsi says: YES
[12:04:38 AM] kelsi says: YES
[12:04:38 AM] kelsi says: LEAH
[12:04:40 AM] kelsi says: UGH
[12:04:56 AM] Leah Bartels says: it’s like, “NO! NO WANTS! PLEASE DON’T WASTE MY KARMA!”
[12:05:15 AM] Ellen says: YES
[12:05:17 AM] Ellen says: SO OBNOXIOUS
[12:05:59 AM] Leah Bartels loves her sconesgirls

 

…

EDIT TO THE EDIT:

You are never leaving your house for an extended period of time without a phone charger again.

So cute, you may just die.

Look Hayley, it’s YOU!

Okay, that’s the last one for tonight. Unless I finish Catcher.

Typos ftw

[8:56:40 PM] Marlena says: I just went to youtube.com/hayleygohoover
[8:56:52 PM] Leah Bartels says: “Hayley, I CHOOSE YOU.”
[8:56:57 PM] Skye says: hah fail.
[8:56:59 PM] Marlena says: hahahahahahah

 

… see the thing about you being away from the internet with a dead phone is that I update this bitch like CRAY CRAY. Two posts in ten minutes? gsus.

NEOPHYTES.

Me: “Mom, have you ever read The Catcher in the Rye?“
Mom: “Never in my life.”
Me: “You should. It’s good. I’ll lend it to you when I’m done.”
Dad: “… is that the one with East Egg and West Egg?”
Me: “…”
Dad: “?”
Me: “… that’s The Great Gatsby, Dad.”
Dad: “So… so, is that the one at Pencey Prep?”
Me: “Yes, Dad.”
Dad: “That’s the Lawrenceville School.”
Mom: “The Catcher in the Rye takes place in New Jersey?”
Me: “No, it’s just BASED off a… nevermind. I’m going back upstairs.”