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A lot has changed since I last posted here, mostly being that… well… I’m not seeing you. And now you have no phone and no internet and if I can’t talk to you for REAL, I have to talk to you through this blog.

I have never felt more depressed/angry/frustrated/lonely/GUILTY in my life. I’m really not enjoying the feeling much.

There was a Sidewalk Cafe wrock show, and I should have been happy and I wasn’t and it just… sucked.

Highlights:

• Getting hit on by a drunk guy. It was like halfway through the Mudbloods’ set, and this dude kind of muscles in behind me. I figure he’s just an aggressive mosher and turn back to the stage, and then I feel his hand on my back. Shudder. I look at him and he smirks a mighty smirk, and all I can think is “Really? Is he really gonna do this? Now?” and he’s all “Sooo… you like these guys?”
  Be still my heart.
  I smile weakly (I was in a foul mood anyway) and give some vague answer and try and look elsewhere. He strokes my back again and I turn to glare at him and he tips his beer bottle in my direction, offering me a sip. For a split, miserable second I actually consider taking it, but this douche is clearly not a wrock fan and if I’m gonna decide to drown my sad sad sorrows, it will not be with a drunken creeper. Apparently finally sensing defeat, he shoved through the crowd some to work his charms on Lauren.
  I’d have been flattered, in a way, had he not hit on every warm body with two X chromosomes in the room.
• Me: *cuddles Lauren*
  Lauren: “Hi! Why sadface?”
  Me: “Hayley, ahem, broke her phone.”
  Lauren: <=[ “Well… maybe… now she’ll be allowed to go to Terminus?”
  … oh, how hope springs eternal.
• My Half popped open for the first time in… well, since you told me. During Teenaged Werewolf.
• After the show we were overheated and hoarse, and I needed a milkshake. We go to a diner across the street. I order a chocolate milkshake. I get what tastes like car battery acid mixed with coffee ice cream. Request CHOCOLATE. Recieve concoction that appeared to be vanilla ice cream blended with Quik. It was a kind of horrible cap to a kind of horrible night.

On the train ride home, Amanda and I discussed flps and why I’m so damn miserable (feeling guilty over things I can’t control) and it became abundantly clear that I have a… well, a Saving People Thing.

Oh, the things we learn from books.